Learning to forgive is a critical skill we all must learn if we are to live a meaningful and productive life.
I want to pass along two resources that I have found to be very beneficial in my understanding and application of forgiveness.
The first resource is a two-part podcast by Dannah Gresh, “The Unnatural Art of Forgiving.”
Dannah addresses women in this podcast, but the lessons are applicable to both men and women.
I highly recommend downloading this and giving it a listen when you get a chance.
The second resource is a book by Lewis B. Smedes, “The Art of Forgiving: When You Need to Forgive and Don’t Know How.”
This may very well be the best book ever written on forgiveness.
It is as practical as it is biblical.
Here are some of the lessons that Smedes develops throughout the book:
“The most creative power given to the human spirit is the power to heal the wounds of a past it cannot change.”
“We do our forgiving alone inside our hearts and minds; what happens to the people we forgive depends on them.”
“The first person to benefit from forgiving is the one who does it.”
“Forgiving happens in three stages: We rediscover the humanity of the person who wronged us, we surrender our right to get even, and we wish that person well.”
“We forgive people only for what they do, never for what they are.”
“We forgive people only for wounding and wronging us; we do not forgive people for the things we do not blame the for.”
“We cannot forgive a wrong unless we first blame the person who wronged us.”
“Forgiving is a journey; the deeper the wound, the longer the journey.”
“Forgiving does not require us to reunite with the person who broke our trust.”
“We do not forgive because we are supposed to; we forgive when we are ready to be healed.”
“Waiting for someone to repent before we forgive is to surrender our future to the person who wronged us.”
“Forgiving is not a way to avoid pain but to heal pain.”
“Forgiving is done best when it is done intolerantly.”
“Forgiving someone who breaks a trust does not mean that we give him his job back.”
“Forgiving is the only way to be fair to ourselves.”
“Forgivers are not doormats; to forgive a person is not a signal that we are wiling to put up with what he does.”
“We do not excuse the person we forgive; we blame the person we forgive.”
“Forgiving is essential; talking about it is optional.”
“When we forgive, we set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner we set free is us.”
“When we forgive we walk in stride with the forgiving God.”
If you have been helped by these resources, I would love to know.
If you have found resources that have helped you, and you wouldn’t mind sharing them, please put them in the comments section.
Wishing you God’s very best,
Pastor Nathan Barber
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